Tuesday I had the first in-person meeting with my yoga therapy mentor. It was a great meeting and I'm excited to see what our relationship brings into both our lives. Through the interview process she asked me a question that felt like a mountain dropped in front of me.
"What *do* you want your life to look like?"
Oh my God, what a loaded question. First it assumes I know what I want my life to look like, and then, down deeper, it assumes I have some power over what my life looks like. What really floored me, though, is I answered almost immediately, and (to my surprise) quite articulately. I answered with something that felt like authority. I know what I want my life to look like, and I know deep down, that it will happen.
A year ago, my words in response to that question would have been the exact same: "I want a partner who loves and supports me, and whom I can love and support equally. I want us to have a family. I want us to be established in careers that are both financially and emotionally fulfilling. I want us to live in a modest house in a good neighborhood. I want to be involved in my community..." But my life looked nothing like that, and I had only the tiniest inkling of hope that any of those things would come to pass.
It was sitting in front of my new mentor that it hit me: In this moment, I have nearly all of what I want out of life. In a year's time, the only piece missing was my fulfilling career. I've spent a lot of time and energy focused on yoga since the end of last year, but it's been only a side hustle, and a dream for later on down the road. But not for right now.
I've been examining a lot of my deeply held unconscious beliefs around my career. Somewhere down the line I was sold the idea that if I follow my passion and do something that makes me feel alive, I will probably die of starvation. Our society tells us that passion doesn't pay the bills. It says if we want money and financial stability, if we want to experience abundance we have to work a soul-sucking job. I bought into the lie that I have to choose between being emotionally fulfilled and financially solvent.
BUT IT'S A LIE.
That belief is not inline with what I know to be true about the Universe. That belief is based in a spirit/matter dichotomy that says the two are separate, and I know that to be a lie. Spirit and Matter are not separate. I can (AND DO) follow my passion and create financial stability at the same time.
It was sitting there with my mentor that I realized I was ready to let go and get rid of that old belief. That night I went home and quit my day job (not that it was particularly soul-sucking, it just wasn't in line with the direction I wanted my life to go) in order to focus all my energy on creating the career I really want.
This was risky. It was scary (and still is, honestly). I realized, though, that I can't keep talking about all these principles of the Universe and not put them fully into practice in my own life. That wouldn't be authentic or fair to my students. So, I took a leap of faith.
I've learned some really important things in the last week. Most important of which, is that no leap of faith is ever taken alone. I am only able to do what I'm doing now because of the crazy amount of support and encouragement I have from my family, friends, and community. I am extremely privileged in this respect, it is a privilege to be able to step out and create the life I've dreamed of, and realizing this, my aim is to use my privilege to help others do the same, to help more people live a life that truly makes them happy. It can be done, but it cannot be done alone.
I am deeply grateful for and to my family, friends, and community for supporting me as I take these steps. All my love to them, and to you for following a long and for being a part. I pray we all move more deeply into Love through faith. Thank you.